When you are in your late teens and early twenties, OF COURSE the number one thing on your mind is what courses you should take and what career path you should pursue. (As an aging parent, I am hoping you are even considering how you will support any aging parents you have in their declining years). It is, however, just possible that from time to time you might be thinking something along the lines of, well, “how will I know when I have found ‘the One for Me’”. And no, we stopped talking about careers at the end of the first sentence; this is about finding a life partner, not an occupation.
I am not insane enough to try answering that question in a blog post. However, there is a question that often comes up when someone has seen the Birkman Report that comes as part of their hoozyu package (especially if they have also just seen their boyfriend’s / girlfriend’s report as well). It is this: “are we even compatible?” Not a question to approach lightly, hearts could be broken…
Here’s the truth though. I know couples who are very similar (on the Birkman) who struggle precisely because of their similarities. I also know couples who are vastly different in their wiring who have built fabulous marriages. Why this is so is that building a lifelong relationship with another person takes hard work and commitment, and that is true whether you find someone who thinks your thoughts before you OR you manage to find your polar opposite. It is hard for polar opposites simply because they are polar opposites and probably realise it pretty quickly; it can be even harder for those who are similar because they can be lulled into a false sense of security. The worst thing is to wake up one day and find that you have drifted apart for no apparent reason other than creeping neglect. That is hard to come back from.
So what can hoozyu do for you? Your Birkman Report can help you identify what the challenges will be for you. In fact, I have never seen a couple who have no differences, so what tends to happen is that with lots of differences, the challenge is to find the common ground; with just one or two key ones, the challenge is to prevent those differences over-amplifying their voice. But here’s the good news – you can learn to enjoy the differences at least as much as your similarities. hoozyu just gives you a map by which to recognise and navigate them.
Vive la différence!